


The Heart's Filthy Lesson

by missgnutmeg



Series: My Heart is a Weapon of War [3]
Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anal Sex, Angst, Brotp, Capslok - Freeform, Claustrophobia, Confusion, Depression, Established Relationship, Grown Men Can Have Teddy Bears, Historical References, Hydra (Marvel), M/M, Masturbation, No Bunny Was Harmed In The Writing Of This Fic, Not Beta Read, Not Really Character Death, Oral Sex, Original Character Death(s), let's just say it's gone AU now
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-27
Updated: 2014-07-31
Packaged: 2018-02-06 11:59:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 11
Words: 14,418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1857234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/missgnutmeg/pseuds/missgnutmeg
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(Directly follows <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/1805857">Pieces</a>) Steve and Loki are growing ever closer, but life is just not one to sit back and let people be happy. Will Steve find time between Hydra acting up and his continued search for the Winter Soldier? Can Loki stop the global scale pranks and just settle down already?</p><p>What's the real cost of love? That's the heart's filthy lesson.</p><p> </p><p>---------</p><p>Natasha frowns. “Grandad, I never took you for the type to have a casual affair.”</p><p>“Well, the sex part was interesting, but part of me was sort of hoping to use it to help him become a better person, that I could be a good influence. It never occurred to me that there might already <i>be</i> a good person under all those layers of defence and anger and insecurity.”</p><p>“It's pretty hard to believe.” She pulls on his hair and then smacks the top of his head. “You're an idiot, Rogers. Does your maniac at least love you back?”</p><p>“No idea."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Compromised

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to part 3! My goal is a chapter a week. I promise they'll be a bit longer than Pieces' were. If reception is good, I have a few other little ideas to possibly continue this verse. If not? Meh. I'll go live in one-shot land.
> 
> Anyway, timeline wise: Wrong Brother would have been about 2-3 weeks, Pieces should be considered to span about 6 months. This gets referenced in the story. I'll try to point it out when it comes up. Harold is still a bamboo plant and Captain Abearica is still the [cutest teddy ever](http://missgnutmeg.tumblr.com/post/89959880872/its-captain-abearica).
> 
> And I still don't have a beta. Anyone a masochist? ;)

_You only waited up for hours_  
 _Just to spend a little time alone with me_  
 _And I can say I've never bought you flowers_  
 _I can't work out what they mean_

_I never thought that I'd love someone_  
 _That was someone else's dream_

'You Give Me Something' - James Morrison

 

### 

 

“'Tasha? I think I might be in trouble.”

The assassin starts in surprise, though it isn't apparent to anyone who doesn't know her well. Steve has always been one to stay silent, preferring to shoulder his own troubles, though Natasha is always glad to help in whatever small way she can. She looks down at him, his head in her lap as they sit on a blanket under the shade of a tree, and allows her fingers to pass through his hair. “What's up?”

Steve sighs and starts chewing on his lip. “I've been compromised.”

Her eyebrow quirks up but she stays silent as she waits for him to continue in his own time.

“I'm having an affair.”

Natasha notes his choice of words, not that he's in a relationship but an affair, someone's wife then? “Tell me?”

“I've been with him since, well, shortly after Bucky turned up. It was only ever meant to be a friends with benefits sort of thing, but.” Steve pauses, takes a deep breath. “I think I'm in love with him.”

“Him?” Not that Natasha really cares who Steve wants to sleep with. “No wonder you weren't interested in any of my suggestions. I'd think you'd be happy to be in love. Who is he that you aren't?”

Steve swallows and closes his eyes. “Loki.”

Wait. Maybe Natasha _does_ care who Steve sleeps with. “Loki? As in tried-to-take-over-the-world, keeps-trying-to-kill-Thor, fucked-with-Clint's-head Loki?”

“Yeah.” He peeks open one eye to look at her. “Am I an idiot? Are you going to hit me?”

“You are, but I'm not going to hit you, yet. I do reserve the right to do so later on, though”. Natasha is only kind because she can see how upset Steve is over this. “If it's been so long, why haven't you said anything sooner?”

“I couldn't. Secrecy was one of the conditions for our relationship. I'm risking everything right now, but I just... I couldn't.” He shakes his head and wraps his arms around himself in a tight hug.

Natasha sighs and strokes his hair. “Hey, he must at least care for you if he was able to steal your heart. It's not exactly like you to go for the cruel and soulless type. Could you tell me why it happened, at least? I knew about your little crush but I'd thought it'd gone away.”

“It's a little embarrassing.” Steve explains Loki's original seduction of him, of the plan gone wrong yet also right, and how Loki came back wanting more, offering his deal. He even gives a few examples of their time together when not fucking like rabbits to show there is a genuine relationship and that Loki isn't as bad as everyone thinks. His eyes beg her to understand.

Natasha frowns. “Grandad, I never took you for the type to have a casual affair.”

“Well, the sex part was interesting, but part of me was sort of hoping to use it to help him become a better person, that I could be a good influence. It never occurred to me that there might already _be_ a good person under all those layers of defence and anger and insecurity.”

“It's pretty hard to believe.” She pulls on his hair and then smacks the top of his head. “You're an idiot, Rogers. Does your maniac at least love you back?”

“No idea. I'm so fucked.”

Natasha can't help but to agree.

 

### 

 

Despite – or because of - S.H.I.E.L.D. imploding, Steve seems to have taken it on himself to save the world. Besides Avenger business, Tony and Natasha send Steve reports they find that look like they might have anything to do with Hydra. He is determined that they be brought down once and for all. For S.H.I.E.L.D., for Bucky, for what they did to Loki, and for himself. Between those and the reports about the Winter Soldier, Steve manages to keep himself fairly busy. 

Of course, it's a lot easier to be busy with those things when Loki isn't sitting on his desk. Again. 

Steve sighs, “I need to get some work done tonight, godling. We can play after, I promise.”

“Steven.” It's the serious voice combined with his name, Steve knows he's in trouble. “You haven't slept or showered in three days. You've only eaten what I've shoved under your face. I know you're concerned that Hydra might be trying to retake your friend but working yourself to death won't help.”

“But Lo-”

“No! Take a shower, go to bed. I shall mark out the pertinent ones for you. Do not force me to use magic on you.”

Steve knows there's no point arguing so he heads to the bathroom, noticing Loki's already moving through a file and marking things with sticky notes. 

The shower is hot and feels good against muscles stiff from disuse, he stays in ten minutes longer than planned just for that. When he steps out he can see Loki's set out clean boxers and his Captain America pyjama pants. The clean fabric feels almost refreshing. 

He makes it to the bedroom to find the sheets turned down and the Captain Abearica teddy waiting for him. He dims the lights and crawls into bed to snuggle with the plush bear. He's asleep nearly instantly.

 

### 

 

The morning sun is bright through the window when Steve awakes to find himself curled not just around his teddy bear but his favourite godling as well. He presses his face against Loki's hair and breathes in. The scent is good and clean with traces of tea and leather and sweat; Loki. Steve seriously considers going back to sleep. 

“Make up your mind already.” Loki shoulders into Steve's chest so he can press closer.

Steve kisses his hair, a little embarrassed to have been caught. “I'm so happy here, but I'm hungry, and I have to pee, and there's work to do.”

“That's unfortunate. I was planning to wait in bed until some gorgeous blonde brings me tea.” Loki grins.

“I suppose you mean me?” Steve sighs, he knows it's a late start anyway so he might as well get up. “You are still ridiculous.”

“I can live with that.” Loki cuddles closer to the teddy bear as Steve gets up and sets about relieving himself, getting tea ready and breakfast things out. Once breakfast – bagels with cheese and smoked salmon along with a pot of tea – is ready he puts it on a tray and goes to put it on the bed near Loki.

Loki is sitting up as Steve enters and accepts breakfast graciously as Steve sits next to him. He even feeds the Soldier the first bagel half. Steve tries to enjoy the moment but he's feeling a twinge of guilt as he remembers his chat with Natasha the other day.

“Umn. Loki.” Steve bites his lip. “I told Natasha about you.”

“...Oh?” Loki's face goes blank, becoming a mask, and he puts down his tea cup.

“I'm sorry. I just needed someone to talk to and she's the only one I thought I could possibly trust.”

A frown. “You know this breaks our deal, don't you.”

Steve shuts his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose. After a moment he nods. “But I have a new proposition for you.”

“Which is?” Loki almost looks curious, the Captain takes it as a good sign that he can see emotions fluttering through those green eyes again.

“Nothing.” Steve sighs out. “I want you to come because you want to, because you can trust me. You can, can't you?”

Loki considers these words. Then he presses his forehead to the Captain's. “For such an intelligent being, you are truly an idiot at times. I shall consider your offer. You will have an answer soon enough.” His voice is dismissive, and as soon as he's done speaking, he drains the last of his tea and disappears.

Captain Abearica sits abandoned in Loki's spot.

 

### 

 

With his information sorted, Steve ends up heading to New York to confer with the other Avengers on how to best deal with the Hydra fragments that seemed to be acting up. There are more reports of the Hydra cells acting up all over and they work hard to track the source. When he's in his tower room at night, he misses his warm apartment. He misses the warm body that so often shares it.

Part of him hopes that they'll come across Bucky in their search for Hydra. Part of him hopes Hydra isn't after Bucky, themselves. The rest of him wonders just how much trust he'd broken with Loki by confessing to Natasha.

He smiles at Clint's jokes, rolls his eyes at Tony, grimaces at bad coffee. These are all the things he's supposed to do but he wonders how they don't see straight through the hollowness he feels in his chest. How they can't see the idiot that frightened away his highly dangerous lover by breaking a single simple trust.

Steve hates himself more than he has since _before_. Since the ice.

But nobody sees. All they see is the Captain hyper-focused on destroying Hydra, an organization he has every reason to hate. They see him planning and calculating and being brilliant at what he does. They don't see the cracks. 

Except, that is, for the spider who thrives in cracks. But she says nothing. She's hoping he'll work through it himself. If not, she can think of a certain Norse god who will get to learn a whole new meaning for the word 'pain'.

It's been 3 days, 17 hours, and 32 minutes since Steve last saw Loki. Not that he's counting.


	2. Recovery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which a new agreement is finally agreed upon, and the Captain sleeps in.

_Crawling under my skin_  
 _You're not like anyone_  
 _I got a needle and thread_  
 _To sew this feeling on_

_I need your poison_  
 _Got my fix til morning comes_  
 _Now I lay here feigning for more_

'Poison' – Meg Myers

 

### 

 

Natasha is in the midst of training when the Captain approaches her. Except it's not the Captain. She can tell by the way he moves and by the eyes – green instead of blue – which she wonders if Loki did on purpose. Probably.

“I should rip your heart out as you stand.” Her voice is soft, venomous. “He hasn't really smiled since we got here. I don't know what you did to him but I'd have no problem punching it out of you.”

“'Tasha. That's not very nice.” Loki(-as-Steve) offers her a bottle water and a towel.

“He's like a brother to me. You wouldn't understand.” Natasha stays cold as she accepts the items. She knows no one else has noticed yet, but she has certainly missed the laughter that usually sparkles in Steve's eyes.

“Stay your tongue, Spider. You know _nothing_.” He spits the words at her. “What I do not understand is why he trusts you over me.”

“Steve can trust whoever he wants, however he wants. But I'd imagine if he does trust me more it's because we're on the same team.” She's starting to wonder at this turn, trying to figure out Loki's angle.

“I am on his side. He knows that.”

“But not the Avengers.”

“Why should I be? I do not have reason to trust any of you children. I trust only my Captain.” He doesn't notice his slip in words. She does.

“You know he would never choose you over us.”

“He would not be the Captain if he did. I would not have him change.”

“Not even for you?”

“Especially not for me.”

Natasha smiles. “Good. You have my permission to date my brother, then.”

“...What?” Loki is dumbfounded.

“You're clearly angry that Steve spoke to me about you, but he was trying to get advice on how to make your relationship more. So date him. Court him, I guess you'd say. That's what he wants, and I think you might want it too.”

Loki looks somewhere between shocked and annoyed. “I do not understand Midgardians.”

“That's pretty damned obvious. Let me give you a hint. There's a pouty Captain America upstairs who would like nothing better than for you to sweep him into your arms and then do whatever it is that you two do that I do not want to know about. Now take care of my brother before I have to rip off your head.” She smiles sweetly and points towards the ceiling.

 

### 

 

Although Steve enjoys being with the other Avengers, he has to admit to himself that he misses the privacy of his apartment. He's finally found a bit of time away and decides he'll start working on the painting project he planned for the apartment seemingly ages ago.

The New York skyline slowly comes to view beneath his hands, his brush. He has chosen the deep purples and blues of last light to hang his stars in and can't help but to think that Loki was right about the colour palette for the work. Of course. 

He loses himself in the comfort of the familiar task of painting.

“It's beautiful.”

Steve doesn't startle. He's used to this, used to Loki coming and going as he sees fit. “Thank you.” He finishes the section he's working on before putting the brush down to look at Loki.

“You've got paint on you. Right here.”Loki moves close, running his thumb across the artist's cheek. After a moment, he continues. “I've decided I do not care for the terms you've offered me.”

“Oh.” The Captain tries not to look hurt. “I guess that's fair.”

“Captain. Your offer is not enough for me. I wish to... date you? I believe that is the term. I wish you to be mine. In turn, I will be yours. That is the deal I want.” Loki takes Steve's hands in his own. “Please.”

“Of-of course. God. Loki! I'd thought- but that doesn't matter.” He kisses Loki hard, knocking them both over on to the floor and he laughs. “Sorry. You okay?”

Loki is also laughing. “I take it you agree?”

“Yes, you unbelievable godling. How could I not?” He finally rises again, helping Loki up.

“You did not call me while I was away.”

“I didn't think you would answer. You seemed like you wanted to be alone.”

“The first day, perhaps.”

“So why didn't you come back sooner?”

“You seemed a bit busy.” Loki shrugs. “I went to Peru.”

“Relics?”

“Always.”

“How's Harold?”

“Wasn't dead last I saw him, despite your best efforts. I would appreciate it if you stopped pouring the ends of your coffee into his pot.”

“But it's cold and I don't want to waste it.”

“Then you drink it. Stop poisoning our baby.”

Steve laughs. “Our baby?”

They chat about all their shared little things for hours until the finally tumble into bed late at night. It all feels equally essential to them and their togetherness. Everything is new again as the hands start touching and mouths start tasting and their hearts beat faster, until they each feel a little more whole.

Steve lies on the bed trying not to come simply from watching his lover undress. His boyfriend. He likes that a lot, likes the way it tastes and feels. It's almost as delicious as Loki himself. 

“Come here.” He whispers as he pulls the naked man into his bed and pushes him down to the mattress. Steve runs his hands over the toned chest. “You are so incredibly beautiful, you know that?”

“You keep saying it, so it must be true.” Loki's hands settle at Steve's waist.

“Mmn. What would you like, godling?” Steve grins. “How shall I make you squirm tonight?”

“Fill me with your righteousness, pet.”

“You did not just call my penis 'righteousness'.”

“I most certainly did.” Loki bites his lip seductively. “I want it, _Steve_. I want you.”

Steve makes a pleased sound when Loki says his name, and then a few more when those elegant fingers close around his cock to stroke him hard. And then Loki has lubricant, Steve's not sure when he grabbed it, but it's being rubbed over his skin under those strong hands.

He pulls away. He has to if he wants to last past the first thrust. 

Instead Steve steals the container of lube from Loki and begins rubbing it over his lover's ass. He gentles it between the cheeks and slips a finger into the tight hole.

Loki moans deeply, spreading his legs further for his lover. He is rewarded with a second finger sliding inside. Those fingers scissor and stretch until he is wriggling with desire and he can feel precome beading on his cock.

Positioning himself between the trickster's legs, Steve lines himself up and gently, so gently, pushes in.

Loki purrs, his entire body practically vibrating with sensation as he's penetrated. It feels different this time and he tries to put his finger on just what it is until he realizes – Steve is claiming him, utterly and completely. The thought sends a shiver through his spine. He wraps his legs around those perfect hips and his fingers tangle in the blonde hair. He wants this, more than anything he wants it.

“Steve.” Loki whispers the name, knowing how much it will mean to his lover. “Steve, make me yours.”

Steve starts with slow, deep thrusts as though he's trying to touch every part of Loki. His head dips in to lick the throat below him, to pepper kisses along the smooth chest, before claiming another deep and tender kiss from Loki's mouth.

Loki, for his part, is trying his very best not to simply melt into the mattress. Steve is so loving, so gentle, Loki's terrified there'll be nothing left of him when it's over. But he wants, no, needs it. His legs squeeze Steve's hips in encouragement.

The thrusts gain momentum, just enough, and Steve manages to find the cluster of nerves inside Loki so he aims for it, to pull out every delicious moan he can. He keeps his mouth on Loki's as though feeding on the moans directly. 

A short burst of especially deep thrusts and Steve orgasms, leaving his seed deep inside Loki with a few more pushes driving it in deeper. Loki gasps at the sensation. Steve continues his movements, to try and pull Loki over too, and he does follow shortly, spurting warmly between their bodies.

They stay close together, Steve's forehead resting on Loki's, Loki's hands on Steve's cheeks. The moment is too real, too perfect, and neither wants to move.

 

### 

 

When Steve wakes, he realizes he's not alone. He smiles and kisses the slender neck of the naked man spooned before him.

“Sleeping.” Loki mumbles in reply and pulls Steve's arms tighter around himself.

The Captain chuckles and nuzzles in to whisper into the delicate ear. “While I adore that you're here, are you safe?”

An agreeing noise comes. “Tony does not video the private rooms. Besides, your so-called sister knows I'm here and will likely help cover for us.”

Steve is a little surprised by Natasha knowing but he'll ask her later. “Oh. Are you going anywhere today?”

“Well, there's this nice apartment in Washington that I've been considering moving into. I think I might spend a couple hours there. Water Harold.” Loki smirks.

“Wait. Moving in? Really?”

“If you're agreeable. Mind, while you're out here working it won't be much different then before anyway.”

“True enough.” Steve's nervous and excited. “Is that why you talked to Tasha?”

“What? No. She did give me permission to court you, though. She truly acts as sister to you.”

Steve blushes, knowing he _has_ to talk to Natasha now. “Did she really? Maybe I do need to keep you two apart.”

“Now I just wish to know her more. Silly pet. You should know better than to tempt me like that.” Loki turns his head to give the Captain a kiss. 

“Or maybe I want you to have more friends, hmmn?”

“Speaking of friends, aren't yours waiting for you?”

“Huh?” Captain looks at the time, seeing he has 10 minutes to get to his first meeting. He practically falls out of the bed. “Shit.”

Loki laughs as the Captain prepares for his day.


	3. Happy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki puts Steve in his place. The Avengers continue looking at the current form of Hydra and how to destroy it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Project: laptop replacement part get has been a success, so I return to you to our regularly scheduled time with the boys! I'll post 3 chapters this week to make up for the missed one last week. Just gotta edit a bit.
> 
> Thank you so much for your patience, so now... the drama!

_Tell me all the things you would change_   
_I don't pretend to know what you want_   
_When you come around and spin my top_   
_Time and again, time and again_

_No fire where I lit my spark_   
_I am not afraid of the dark_   
_Where your words devour my heart_   
_And put me to shame, put me to shame_

'Distant Sun' – Crowded House 

 

### 

 

“Nice of you to join us, Spangles.” Tony quips from behind his laptop.

Steve's cheeks burn. He's only 5 minutes late and it's not like Tony hasn't been late to any number of these. “Sorry, I overslept.”

Natasha sends him a look and he knows she knows but he only gives her a quick nod as he takes his seat.

“No worries, I was just starting.” Tony pulls up a projection and starts covering all the information he, Natasha, and Steve had been gathering for everyone else. Then he pulls up a world map.

“These.” Yellow dots appear over the map. “Are where we suspect Hydra bases may be. The green dots have been confirmed by satellite.” Green dots appear over most of the yellow ones.

Bruce nods, Clint looks like he's trying not to fall asleep.

“Let us go forth and destroy them.” Thor rumbles and Steve feels suddenly guilty. He hadn't exactly been avoiding the thunderer, per se, just trying not to talk too much.

Steve sighs. “We need to know what their communication grid is like first. We can't hit one and have them go and warn all the others. We need to be as quick and effective as possible.”

Tony huffs. “I'm working on it, okay?”

“Never said you weren't.” Steve smiles evenly. “I'm just warning against rushing ahead. We could get people hurt that way.”

“We don't have the manpower to do a big multi-complex raid anymore, so we have to be careful.” Natasha points out.

Steve nods.

“Well, we could pull down any communication network they have.” Tony considers. “Or code it to misdirect.”

“Great. Find the system first.” Steve shrugs.

“What if they're just using encrypted public lines?” Bruce finally speaks up. “Or the internet? We can't just shut those down.”

Tony grins. “I'll figure it out.”

“Right, so we get that done and we can figure out our plan of attack. Bruce? Tony? Think you can handle it?”

Bruce nods.

“I'll have it by dinner time, Capsicle. You gonna have some draft plans done?” Tony is already typing on his laptop.

“I can. Tash, Clint, you each do a couple too and we'll compare.”

They nod.

“Thor, let's get you caught up with some of the tactical so you know what we're looking at.” Steve finds the file on a tablet and hands it over. “Alright, we'll reconvene at 19:00 hours.”

Everyone heads out except for Steve who's going over the maps again and Tony, who steps up behind him.

“What happens if your buddy is at one of those bases.”

“What?” Steve is confused. He turns to face Tony.

“Winter Soldier. He may have been re-assimilated.” Tony shrugs. “Might be an issue.”

“It's not. If he's there we take him down but in one piece.”

“And if we can't?” 

“Not an option.”

“Cap, you gotta face facts.”

“That is not a fact, it's a guess at best. Bucky was brainwashed. I am not going to just let him be shot down without giving him a chance to be himself again. If he's there at all. Which I doubt.”

“Okay, cool. Leave the crazy for Cap, I get it.”

Steve fumes, wanting badly to punch Tony but refraining. “Good. Now drop it.”

“Dropped. You'll excuse me, I have a communications system to track.” Tony slips out quickly.

Steve punches the wall, leaving a dent.

 

### 

 

“God, what's wrong with him? He's such an insensitive...” Steve storms into the room, muttering under his breath, but cuts off mid sentence when he realizes he's not alone. “Loki? I thought you were heading out?”

Loki smiles, stretching, clearly he hasn't even tried to get out of bed in the hours Steve has been gone. He holds a hand out to his grumpy lover, inviting him to the bed. Steve wanders over and allows himself to be pulled into Loki's lap. Strong arms wrap around him. “Stop caring so much what others may say or do. You are mine.”

“Loki, it's not tha-” Steve is cut off by a kiss.

“It is entirely this simple, Steve Rogers. You are mine. I alone have the right, nay, privilege to touch you, hurt you, love you, fuck you, or kill you. You are my personal privilege.”

“I'm... Loki.” Steve is stunned, made suddenly shy by this total claiming of him, but he presses his nose to Loki's temple and finally manages to mutter a reply. “I love you, too, godling.”

 

### 

 

Natasha catches Steve when he finally stops to eat after Loki leaves. She nudges him over in his chair so she can squish in with him and steals half of one of his two sandwiches.

“You can feed yourself, you know.” But he can't help grinning at her.

“I am. With your food.” She elbows him. “You better?”

Steve looks around quickly before answering. “Yeah. Did you really give him permission to date me?”

Natasha shrugs. “I thought it might be an old fashion-y space viking thing so I took a chance.”

They both chuckle at that. Then Steve kisses her temple. “Thank you, for understanding. And before you ask, yes. Yes we are.”

She squeezes his neck warmly. “I hope you're happy. Honestly. Though I did threaten him just in case.” She winks.

“Gee, thanks.” Dourly, he takes a bite of his sandwich.

“Guessing the sex was phenomenal, seeing as you were late this morning.”

Steve nearly chokes.

“Easy, grandad.” Natasha gently pats his back. 

Steve swallows. “How about we never discuss my sex life again, okay?” 

Natasha laughs. “You're no fun.”

 

### 

 

The evening meeting is unproductive, as the communications system has not been figured out, and ends quickly. Tony decides to hold a team bonding session which means a movie night to 'educate' Thor and Steve. Steve finds the selection boring but sits through it politely, if only for Natasha and Clint's witty commentary throughout. 

Finally Steve ends up alone in his room.

He has to admit to himself that despite a few little things it's been a really good day. As he gets changed for bed, he notices Loki has left him Captain Abearica and a book – George Orwell's “1984” – along with a short letter.

> Darling Captain;
> 
> Have decided to head back to Cambodia for a few days, since you will be busy anyway. Will water Harold before I go. Try not to kill Tony, we both know you will end up missing him. Tell the Spider I want her to take care of you until I get back. I hope you will enjoy this book. See if you don't relate to the main character a little. 
> 
> I love you. See you in 3 days time. 
> 
> Your Loki

Steve smiles and carefully tucks the letter into the book. He'll be done when Loki gets back and then they'll chat about why Loki thinks the main character is like him. And then they will kiss and be close.

And they will be happy.


	4. Daze

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things with Hydra take an unexpected turn. Steve is surprised repeatedly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so, so sorry. But I swear it gets better here on in.

_Still so young to travel so far_  
 _Old enough to know who you are_  
 _Wise enough to carry the scars_  
 _Without any blame, there's no one to blame_

_It's easy to forget what you learned_  
 _Waiting for the thrill to return_  
 _Feeling your desire burn_  
 _And drawn to the flame_

'Distant Sun' – Crowded House 

 

### 

 

It takes a few days before Tony finally realizes why they can't find a communications grid. Quite simply, there isn't one. The Avengers quickly work out that all the individual Hydra groups are independent, only loosely connected by some central command that they haven't located. That means even if they can strike down the centre, many would continue to be potentially harmful.

However, this doesn't mean that independent cells won't fall easily should they choose to fight them.

This is the debate that's going on around him as Steve sits silently in his chair, mulling over the fact that it's day 5 and Loki had said he'd be back in 3. He's even tried texting a few times with no result.

“Right, Steve?”

“What? Sorry. What was the question?”

“Man, you're spacey today. You been having your nightmares again?” Tony actually looks worried.

“Some. Sorry. I'll try to stay here. What were you asking?”

Natasha also looks worried. “Maybe we should wait for now. Or at least Steve should.”

Tony frowns then nods. “First thing tomorrow. You get Soldier Boy to bed.”

The assassin nods and goes to Steve's side, taking his arm to help him out of the meeting room.

“Come on, grandad.” She guides him gently but firmly.

“Sorry.” Steve mumbles, feeling horrid about being the reason for them to cut short.

They end up in his room and she pushes him onto the bed. “You okay? Where's your pyjamas?”

Steve points and she finds them folded neatly on the opposite night stand. “But I can do that. You don't have to worry.”

She hands them to him then stares pointedly to indicate she's going to watch.

With a sigh, Steve strips to his boxers before pulling on the pyjama pants. 

“You wanna tell me what's got you so worried, now? This isn't just you tired.”

Steve shifts uncomfortably, rubs the back of his neck. “Loki was supposed to be back two days ago. He wasn't. I've never known him to be late for anything.”

Natasha frowns. “I'm sure he's fine. He's almost as strong as Thor plus he's got all that magic.”

“Tash...” Steve freezes, not sure he wants to tell her about the last time Loki encountered Hydra.

“What is it?” Her voice is soft, calming. She takes his hand and strokes it.

“Hydra has weapons that can hurt him. I pulled three bullets out of him myself, about three months back.” 

“He's fine.” Natasha is firm. “Just watch, he'll be on the news for stealing some useless thing tomorrow, and will show up late with flowers to apologize.”

Steve nods, but he's worried.

Natasha sighs. “Just try to sleep, okay? I'll make sure things are okay.”

 

### 

 

On day 6, a small parcel arrives at the tower marked for the Avengers. It passes security scans, and when it is opened it reveals an unmarked DVD.

Tony calls everyone to a conference room.

“Our friends at Hydra seem to want our attention. They sent us a movie. Shall we watch?”

Mumbled concerns and agreements come from the group as Tony runs the video so it plays on one of the large screens.

> An athletic looking woman stands in some sort of laboratory. Her skin appears very tan or possibly south-Asian. She is dressed in a Hydra commander's uniform.
> 
> “Good day, Avengers.” Her accented voice preens. “Most especially Thor! I, Commander Gregg, bring you a gift.”
> 
> The screen pans over to a table. Loki lies across it. He appears uncharacteristically limp. His chest is bare and covered in bruises and cuts. His hair is matted to his face in blood. More blood spills from his lips.
> 
> Her voice returns. “We have found a way to kill your gods. Our gift is this warning. Do not interfere.”
> 
> The video ends.

Steve feels physically ill. He tries to swallow it, tries not to let anyone see.

Thankfully, Thor is less than quiet. “NO! They CAN NOT! They DARE not! My brother. They have harmed my kin. I shall smite them all mightily!”

The blonde demigod rages for several minutes before they manage to calm him enough to at least listen.

“Okay, big guy, we will avenge your brother.” Tony is placating. “But where do we find them?”

Steve slowly rises from his chair, feeling like he's deflating as he breathes out the word. “Cambodia.”

“Excuse me.” He escapes to his room.

 

### 

 

Steve is drawing quietly when Natasha finally checks on him. She places Captain Abearica on her lap as she joins him on the bed.

“You okay?”

“Well, I've stopped vomiting.” He offers it as a weak joke. “I don't want to believe it, Tash, but he hasn't even texted in 5 days.”

“You said he was in Cambodia?”

“Yes. He's been studying Angkor Wat for magical significance.” He tugs at the sleeves of his shirt. It's a long sleeve burgundy and white stripe that Loki had given him.

Natasha nods. She places a hand on his shoulder. “Will you be okay?”

“I'll be able to fake it.” His eyes get misty. “Captain America is always okay.”

“What about Steve Rogers?”

A tear slides down his cheek. “Steve Rogers just lost his boyfriend. He's a little shaky.”

She offers the bear and he clings to it. It still smells of Loki. He finally allows himself to cry. It's as bad as when he thought he'd lost Bucky. Large, strangling sobs shake his entire frame.

Natasha stays near. She rubs his back occasionally but keeps quiet. Although she does not mourn Loki, she can't help but ache for the man who loves him.

 

### 

 

That night, Steve does not sleep. He fears the possibility of nightmares but far more he fears having to face tea alone.


	5. Prisoner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The rumours of Loki's death are largely over-rated. (As usual.) Steve is depressed, but he has good friends with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because I couldn't leave you thinking Loki is dead for so long, though Steve has to believe it a few chapters more. Also, if you're unfamiliar with them, please go wiki about Pol Pot and the Khmer Rouge. It is a truly dark patch of history that needs to not get forgotten. I recently (Feb 2014) visited the memorial at the killing fields in Cambodia, and it's just... I was ill. It's disgusting what people can do to each other.

_I'm running through a forest of you_   
_And the traffic swells around my feet_   
_I'm spinning through a forest of you_   
_And your laughter spills into the street_

_Now that you're gone and even though it's hard to say_   
_I know that we'll be old together somewhere, someday_

'Stay' - Jorane

 

###

 

Darkness. 

Loki is surrounded by it, filled with it. There is nothing else. He twists and turns and slams heavily into the close walls.

Wait. _Walls._ It's not the void, not Thanos. He finally remembers to breathe again, unsure of how long he's held his breath. 

Loki starts by checking himself. He's sore, tired, thirsty. He's fairly certain there's dried blood on his mouth and his ribs feel bruised but there doesn't seem to be anything that would indicate permanent physical damage. His magic feels undimmed, merely out of reach due to his own weakness. All he needs is a little time to recover his strength and he'll be able to escape.

Escape where? Who hit him? _What_ hit him?

Next he checks the prison itself. It's small. He notices the round walls are tight, not large enough to give him room to bend or kneel though he might be able to manage a crouch if necessary. It does seem circular like a pipe or well but unmarred, with the exception of two tubes or wires that stick out, each connecting into his elbow on each side. The ceiling is higher than he can reach.

It's too dark to tell for certain, but he suspects at least one of the tubes must be to feed him. The other feels uncomfortable, pulling from him, perhaps to draw something from him? Waste? Blood? He prays to Steve's saviour God that he hasn't been caught by Hydra. They would want blood.

“Steve.” He whispers. “My Captain, please find me.”

 

### 

 

Natasha finally manages to drag Steve out to have dinner. Or rather Natasha is eating while Steve lines the fries up on his plate straight as soldiers.

“Steve. You have to eat. You haven't eaten all day. You're usually starving.” She's concerned.

“Sorry.” He sticks a fry in his mouth and chews distractedly. He'd spent most of the day in bed, curled around Captain Abearica. It took Natasha threatening to behead the poor thing before he'd been willing to shower or dress. He is trying with the fries, but eating just seems so hard.

His chest should be torn apart, open and gushing blood. At least then the way he feels would make sense. But it won't bring his godling back.

Natasha's clearly frustrated and is about to say something else when they're suddenly joined.

“Hey, sorry I'm late. Traffic was killer.” Sam Wilson grins widely, shaking Natasha's hand and then holding his arms out to Steve. “You ain't gonna hold out on me, are ya?”

“Sam.” Steve rises and hugs his friend tightly. “Why are you here?”

“Gee. Someone missed me.” Sam grabs the seat between them and sends an order in for food.

Steve rolls his eyes. “Why are you in New York?”

“Red says you need me.” Sam thumbs towards Natasha. “Wouldn't say why. You ok? You seem kinda down.”

“I am a bit down. But I have no idea what to tell you.” Steve frowns.

Natasha shrugs. “I can help? Did he tell you about his boyfriend?”

“Boyfriend? Stevie, you have a boyfriend you didn't tell me about?” Sam grins.

Steve stares at his plate. “Had.”

Sam looks at Natasha for clarification. 

“You remember a certain god of mischief who tried to take down New York.”

“Yeah, he was all over the news.”

“Apparently he has a thing for ancient relics.”

“Tash.” Steve tries to interrupt but his voice is too soft.

“Really? Not sure if I should be impressed or somethin' else.”

“Stop it! Just leave it. It doesn't matter. He's dead!” Steve slams on the table a little too hard and it cracks. He quickly pulls his hands to himself as he notices other customers' stares and tries not to cry. Again. “Sorry.”

“Hey, man, it's cool. I got you.” Sam wraps an arm around Steve's shoulder.

Natasha scoots her chair closer on his other side. “He's going to join the Avengers. I recruited him.”

“What?”

“Yeah, sure, 'Tash was surprised you hadn't already. Figured you were keepin' me to yourself.”

Steve manages a small smile. “Maybe I was.”

Natasha smiles. “Sorry to spoil your secret club.”

“We'll forgive you eventually, won't we Steve?”

Steve shrugs and starts playing with his fries again. 

“Steve. Don't do this. We need you. Bucky needs you. Hell, Loki needs you. You're not going to let them keep him, are you?”

Steve's eyes go wide at Sam's words as he considers the many possible ramifications. “Oh Jesus.”

Natasha clues in right after. “Well, damn. Maybe we should be getting back.”

“No, eat.” Steve sighs. “No good starving ourselves.”

“Right. Then we do this.”

 

### 

 

Hydra has attempted to take Loki's blood before, so leaving them the body may definitely be risky. It might not be the same faction, but Steve is NOT willing to take the risk. Loki had never mentioned _where_ he was that night he'd shown up with bullet wounds.

While Natasha helps Sam settle in to the tower, Steve sets his focus on getting Loki home.

He starts by pulling up everything he can on this 'Gregg' from the video. Cambodian, longtime Hydra operative, daughter of a Khmer Rouge officer. Steve has to stop and research the last and what he reads on the Khmer Rouge makes him start feeling sick all over again.

Racial cleansing. Genocide. Mass murder.

“You know, bones still wash up in the killing fields after heavy rains or storms.” Bruce speaks softly and puts a a hand on Steve's shoulder.

Steve looks up but doesn't startle at the interruption. “She was raised with that. Raised to believe in it.”

“Probably.”

Steve shuts his eyes.

“Some of what you missed... it wasn't great. I wish you didn't have to learn it.”

“This is important. These were people. This woman must be brought down before she tries to start it all again. What do you think her scientists could learn from Loki's body? What could they do with alien DNA?”

It's Bruce's turn to pale, he obviously hadn't considered the possibility. “Let me see if Tony's gotten any better maps yet.”

 

### 

 

Loki is dizzy with the urge to vomit as his tiny cell is suddenly blasted with bright light. It's actually worse than the blackness. Nothing else seems to change until the light is gone again just as it came. Loki is left disoriented and sickened as he leans his head against the wall.

 

### 

 

By morning, Tony has extensive maps of the area surrounding what they believe to be the Cambodian Hydra base. “Give me another day and the satellites can get you the inside, too. Or at least most of it.”

Steve nods. “Okay, but we can't wait too long. We can't give them time to learn anything from Loki's body. They already seem to have something that can bring him down.”


	6. Alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve heads back to Washington for a few days to handle the legal side of their mission.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 6 & 7 are both shorter chapters but are separate due to one being prep and one being the actual mission, so you get both this week! We're getting so close, can you feel it?!

_The other night, dear, as I lay sleeping_   
_I dreamt I held you in my arms_   
_When I awoke, dear, I was mistaken_   
_So I hung my head, and I cried_

'You Are My Sunshine' - Jimmie Davis and Charles Mitchell

 

### 

 

Steve is beyond frustrated. It's been 11 days since Loki left, 10 since he texted. That means Hydra may have had him for over a week. Yet all they seem to be able to do is argue semantics. He can't help but miss S.H.I.E.L.D. and their obsessive paperwork at the moment, as the organization would have had them in Cambodia already. 

After multiple calls the Cambodian embassy, someone finally recognizes him as Captain America and connects him to the ambassador’s secretary. All that manages to earn him is a meeting in Washington, but there's hope at least to arrange for the appropriate Visas to remove the Hydra threat. Steve isn't thrilled by the additional few days of delay, but at least he's finally getting somewhere. Plus he'll be able to stop in on his apartment before they leave on the mission. Water his plants, check his mail. 

Have some time alone to think without the noise of everyone else constantly bombarding his tired brain.

 

### 

 

“Steve! Captain! I'm sorry.” Loki startles awake from a dream of his love. It hurts. More than standing so long, more than the tube fucking draining whatever from him, more than his parched throat. Steve needs him. What if he has a panic attack? Loki slams his hands uselessly against the walls of his cell and curses.

 

### 

 

As he shuts his apartment's door behind him, the first thing Steve notices is that the two dolls who live on the bookshelf have been posed in a rather lewd manner. Probably by Loki before-

_Before._

Steve is unsure about how he ends up on his knees, but an uncontrollable sob wells up from his chest so that he can barely breathe. Fists clenched, he drops his head and tries to regain control. It takes several long minutes before he's able to open his eyes and face the world again.

Looking around, he can see Loki touches of Loki everywhere. He has cleaned the apartment quite well before leaving. He'd even started moving some of his things in. Steve finds a drawer of Loki's clothing and pulls out a dress shirt to hold it to his nose. The smell comforts him as nothing has in days. He can almost believe that Loki is still alive, still with him. Still moving in. 

His eyes start to water again and Steve tries his best to blink it away. He has to be strong until the end of this mission, even if he only gets to bring home Loki's body. 

He wanders to the kitchen and finds Loki's favourite tea. He brews a cup, taking it with a splash of milk just like Loki always did. The warm liquid does little to fill the hole left inside of him. He puts on a record, to try and cover the silence created by Loki's absence. It's one of the newer ones Loki got for him – the Decemberists – Steve likes the folky feel of them, and knows the story of the trickster played out through the album would have greatly appealed to Loki.

So he sits, and sips his tea, and ponders the hazards of love. He tries not to think of the irony that the silence he wanted so badly was now haunting him like an angry spirit.

Tomorrow he'll be at the embassy. Tomorrow he'll be closer to Loki's remains. Tomorrow he will be able go on like it's okay though it really, really isn't.

 

### 

 

Steve catches the first flight back to New York once he's gotten the visa and necessary permissions for the mission. He wants it done now, sooner than now. They've wasted more than enough time and he wants to get the whole thing over and done with. Then he can truly let himself mourn. Let himself be alone again.

It's like losing Bucky, like coming out of the ice. The whole world has shifted around him, altered irreversibly and yet he's the only one who can see just how much. He's the only one who can see the insanity.

 _Bucky._ His fingers dig into the armrests of the plane seat. After all this mess is over, he will find his friend. Will help him recover at least some of himself. Steve needs to. He needs at least a small part of the world to be okay again.

He's not sure how he'll manage, otherwise.

 

### 

 

Stark tower is noisy, as it always is. Full of life and living people. None of them Loki. Steve takes a deep breath and heads to the common room. He tries to be normal, tries not to stare at the couch where he first started talking to Loki not so many months ago. He makes a pot of coffee and waits for the world to still.

He's so out of it he doesn't even notice Thor enter the room until the heavy hand is on his shoulder. “Friend Steven, are you alright? You seem greatly preoccupied.”

“What? Yeah. Sorry. Coffee?” Steve holds up the freshly made pot.

“That would be good.” Thor retrieve two cups – one for each of them – and sets them out for Steve to pour.

They each take a cup and go to sit down.

“How. How are you holding up?” Steve looks to Thor, the only other one that might be upset at losing Loki, the only one he could possibly reach out to and yet his lies keep them apart. 

Thor manages a tight smile. “I have seen his supposed death twice before. It's hard to be certain now. I keep thinking he will show up and laugh at me for mourning him again.”

“I don't think he'd work with Hydra, though.” Steve sighs, staring at his mug. “It's sickening that they'd use anyone like a tool or weapon. First Bucky and now... now Loki. God. I'm sorry, Thor.”

“It is not your fault, Steven.” Thor shakes his head. “Loki's long chosen his own path.”

“But there was good within him. You always said that.”

“Yes.” The thunder god smiles again. “He was a trickster, but he also was wise and kind. And he was my brother.”

Steve offers his hand, squeezing Thor's. 

They sit side by side sipping coffee and missing Loki.

 

### 

 

Loki screams himself hoarse. Nothing changes.


	7. Forget

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Avengers begin their search of the Hydra base.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oubliettes are a legit thing, not just from Labyrinth. I swear.
> 
> I make no apologies for cliff hangers.

_My heart is a weapon of war_  
 _My voice is my weapon of choice_  
 _An eye for an eye,_  
 _A heart for a heart,_  
 _A soul for a soul._  
 _We fight for the dream,_  
 _We fight to the death,_  
 _We fight for control._

'Fight Like a Girl' – Emilie Autumn

### 

 

He's lost track of time. Nothing changes except that damnable light and there's no real rhyme nor purpose to it.

Loki is angry. Angry at himself for getting caught, angry at whoever is holding him, angry at Steve for not finding him. He rages silently, knowing it can do him little good. He's weak and tired and just wants it all to end.

One way or another.

 

### 

 

The quinjet can't go fast enough to satisfy Steve. His right leg is shaking with all the nervous energy he's trying to contain. Twice he puts a hand on it to try and still it, but for nought. In the end he just lets it goes and hopes no one else is paying much attention to him in the darkness of the jet.

Clint and Natasha are in the cockpit. Bruce sits beside him while Sam and Thor sit across. Tony is in the back fiddling with his suit.

He goes over the plan again, walks the maps in his mind. He's sure they can do this, positive it will be successful. Yet he can't remember the last time he'd been so nervous before a mission. Then again, he can't remember the last time he'd had to go in after the body of his lover.

His stomach tightens, threatens to turn over. He shuts his eyes and orders it to behave. When he opens them again, Sam gives him a curious look but he merely gives a reassuring smile to his friend and tries once more to tame his vibrating leg.

They'll be landing soon. He's ready.

Maybe.

 

### 

It's just shy of 2:00 A.M. local time when they land. They're out quickly and Steve is right into full Captain mode.

“Alright Tony, Thor? You two on perimeter. I don't want anyone in or out of this place except us. Hawkeye and Falcon, you're taking out the upper levels and planting the electronic detonations. Widow and I will take the laboratory levels on the bottom and do the same. Get all the information you can on their plans and systems before we all get out and bring the place down. Bruce, you and the Other Guy are on call, but stay in jet and monitor communication until my word. Good?” 

The team all agree, Bruce even seems somewhat thankful. Once Thor and Tony are airborne, the two land teams make their way to the base. They enter through a lesser-used supply garage and split up once inside.

 

###

 

The first thing Hawkeye and Falcon manage to do while searching their first floor is get Captain America to chastise them for being too vocal and snarky over the comms. They both grin, considering it an achievement, as they continue more silently. They move quickly, gathering what little intelligence there is and taking out enemy operatives as quietly as possible.

The next floor seems to be nothing but storage and the higher they go, the less there seems to be. But, good soldiers that they are, they quickly place their incendiary devices and set them to radio detonate.

They cover their floors with no problems. There's hardly even any guards. Hawkeye complains quite a bit until he's told to shut up by Black Widow. Naturally, this dooms them and the next room they enter has a dozen operatives they have to fight their way through. Falcon loudly blames Hawkeye for cursing them over the comms.

Still, the two men are more than capable and handle the situation. Once the floor is clear, Hawkeye goes over the comm. “We're clear, Cap, do you and Widow need help in the basements?”

“We think we found something. The bottom floor seems to be larger than the others. Stay with us and I'll let you know if we need back up.”

“Right.”

Falcon and Hawkeye start heading lower, just in case.

 

### 

 

Loki's face is wet with tears. His forehead rests against the cell wall. He wants out. He wants nutrients not from a fucking tube. He wants daylight. Fuck. He wants Steve. He hiccups a sob and presses his knuckles against the wall.

 

### 

 

Black Widow takes out the first security team on her own with a couple of quick punches. The Captain's shield neutralizes the next two. The first floor of laboratories seems to all be weapons testing. Natasha quickly backs up the data onto a thumb drive while Steve sets up their charges and they make their way down to the next floor.

The first party they encounter on the next floor is larger, but they manage to dispatch them without a warning getting out and Natasha copies another database. The rest of the floor is empty except for a few more guards, so they head down quickly again.

This bottom floor is significantly different from the previous two. After the first row of computers – again copied – they encounter a guard room of sorts. They silence the inhabitants in an efficient manner before heading into the next section. It's a large cement room filled with what seem to be round grates that go down into dark holes. Natasha looks down into the first then looks at Steve.

“These are prisons.”

“Oubliettes.” The Captain replies, eyes scanning. “Where people are put to be forgotten. There were similar cells during the war. Is there anyone in any of them?”

They move quickly from cell to cell, each taking a side of the room. They call down, listen for a response. The cells seem to be all empty, as far as Steve can tell and he says so to Natasha, but she shakes her head.

“I hear something. There's someone in this one!”


	8. Devastation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki is not only not dead, he's alive! And reunited with Steve.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because you goofs are so excited. We're going to run out of story soon.
> 
> The word "oubliette" is from the French, "oublier" which means to forget.

_If we're still alive_   
_My regrets are few_   
_If my life is mine_   
_What shouldn't I do?_   
_I get wherever I'm going_   
_I get whatever I need_   
_While my blood's still flowing_   
_And my heart's still_   
_Beating like a hammer_

'Help I'm Alive' – Metric 

 

### 

 

“Excuse me?”

“This one, there's someone it. I can... almost...” Natasha tugs at the door of the oubliette, but can't quite manage it so Steve comes over and pulls it off for her, looking into it.

“I don't...” There's a coughing sound, someone trying to find his voice. Steve is astounded. “Holy shit!”

“Can you reach him, Cap?”

Captain America reaches down but he's too bulky. “No. Could you if I held you?”

“Sure. No problem.”

With the Captain holding her waist, Natasha reaches down until she feels shoulder, arms. “Grab on to me.” She keeps the order brief and soon feels hands gripping her biceps. Captain America pulls them both out and they help the prisoner to sit on the ground.

He's got dried blood coating him and fresh coming from one arm while the other still has a tube of clear fluid attached but there's no mistaking the identity of prisoner.

“Loki?!” Steve hugs him tightly, half afraid he'll disappear. “They said you were dead.”

“They do that a lot.” Loki speaks quietly, coughing more.

Steve releases him and looks him over. “You look like hell.”

“Thanks, I adore you, too.” Loki sighs, trying to stay awake. “Where am I? Who did this?”

“Hydra.” Natasha is blunt. “We're in a base in Cambodia.”

“Oh. Good.” Loki rubs his face with his hands. Meanwhile, Steve has pulled a roll of bandages out of one of his pouches and is trying to wrap the bleeding arm. 

As he gets the bandage on, he looks at the tube still in the other. “I'm going to have to pull that out.”

“Maybe we should leave it a while. He looks pretty weak.”

“ _He_ is here and would like it out. Now.”

Steve and Natasha exchange a look before she puts her hand on Loki's arm and gently pulls out the syringe that's holding the tubing in. Luckily, this one comes out without too much further damage.

“Loki.” Steve pulls off his helmet and then pulls out his cantene to help wash some of the grime and blood off Loki's face as well as let him drink. “What happened?”

Loki tries to hold the cantene, but quickly realizes he hasn't the strength. Luckily Steve also sees this and holds it for him. The water is sweeter than honey, after so long without. He feels like he can't get enough, but Steve keeps it slow so as not to choke him. Loki licks his lips when it's finally pulled away. “I think. I think they were taking my blood. I know not why but they shall not survive the mistake of letting me live.”

The trickster falls forward, Natasha barely catching him. “I don't think you're going to do anything for a while, there.”

“I.” Loki pauses, turns his head. “Steve, may I?”

“What?”

“Borrow of your incredible strength.”

“Of course.” Steve doesn't quite understand.

Loki pulls Steve down into a kiss. Steve feels like something is tugging at him and he's suddenly feeling tired.

“Thank you.” Loki rises, seeming just as suddenly strong. 

“What did you just do?” Natasha rises.

Steve realizes quickly what's happened, blinking against the tiredness. “Wait, what are you planning?”

“I am going to avenge myself. If you'll both excuse me?”

“Or you can stay here and comfort your grieving widow?” Steve speaks softly but his grip on Loki's wrist is firm.

Loki furrows his brow. “But I do not- oh. _Oh._ ” An eyebrow perks up and his look changes to one of disbelief. “Do you ask to marry me, Captain? I hardly think it the time.”

“Well, it wouldn't exactly be the stupidest thing I've done today.” Steve grins, all the brighter for the dirt of battle streaked on his skin.

“Right. Allow me to crush these pathetic insects and then you may worry about claiming me as your own.” Loki places a kiss to the side of Steve's mouth, whispering as he teleports. “Ten minutes, pet.”

Natasha raises an eyebrow at Steve as soon as Loki's gone. “You have the most fucked up love life of anyone I know.”

Steve can't help but laugh. But then he sobers up as he hears the nearby detonators start beeping. He checks the timer and gets on the intercom. “Okay, guys. Get out, seriously. You've got exacly 9 minutes and fifty... three seconds to clear out before Loki brings this place down around our ears using our own tech.”

“Loki!?” Thor's voice booms over the devices and Steve winces.

“He was being held here. He was weaker than a kitten but then he did some weird shit to Cap and now he's on a rampage to kill everything in the building.” Natasha explains as she and Steve boot it out of the lower levels towards the stairs. “I think it was some weird spell.”

Thor comes on again, still too loud. “If it is the spell I think it is, then Loki's powers have increased considerably. This could be dangerous.”

Steve sighs. “Everyone just get to safety. We worry about the half-mad demigod later, okay?” He hates calling Loki mad, but it's what the rest would expect.  
The team has assembled back in front of the quinjet, Tony and Bruce asking a thousand questions about what Loki had done to Steve – who is definitely showing signs of abnormal exhaustion – when the base behind them implodes.

“Well, guess Stark's devices worked.” Clint continues polishing his bow.

“What of Loki?” Thor looks around. “Where did my brother go?”

“Oh, do not fret so, Thor.” Loki appears before them, covered in a new layer of blood, not his own. “I've even brought a gift.” Loki holds forward a stick drive and takes a step, then he falters to his knees.

“Loki?” Steve can't help but be concerned, going over to him.

“Damn. Borrowed power is so fleeting.” Loki puts the drive in the Captain's hands and blacks out.

 

###

 

The first time Loki's eyes flutter open, it's barely long enough to acknowledge that he's surrounded by Avengers before he's gone under again.

On his second attempt, he acknowldges Thor sitting beside him and asks for a glass of water, but isn't awake to drink it when Thor brings it in for him.

Loki opens his eyes again and Steve is there, sweet Steve sitting quietly with a book and looking every bit as beautiful as Loki wants him to. “Are you a dream?”

“Not last time I checked. Shall I pinch you?” Steve smiles as he looks up at Loki. “Are you staying with us this time, or are you just going to ask for more water?”

“What?” Loki tries to sit up and finds he simply doesn't have the strength to stay that way. Then he remembers. He remembers being rescued, and his choice to use his stolen power spell. He shuts his eyes and falls back with a groan.

“Are you okay? Loki?” The voice is full of concern.

Loki opens his eyes again to meet the Captain's. “Yes, sorry. Am I to assume this is Stark tower?”

“It is.”

“And you pulled the short straw to babysit the broken god?”

Steve nods.

“And we're surrounded by cameras.” 

“Yes.”

“Unfortunate.”

“I want to kiss you so badly.” Steve leans over Loki's bed, voice low as he pretends to check Loki's I.V.

“Play along. Stutter and pull away. Then you can come in for more.”

Raising his voice from the whisper to theatrically loud, for the cameras, Loki reaches for Steve. “Captain, I must thank you for your aid in Cambodia.” He pulls him down for a kiss.

Steve follows the act, pulling away with a genuine blush at the forwardness. “Loki, I...”

“I won't bite, Captain. Unless you desire it.” Loki smirks and pulls Steve down again and this time they kiss properly, long and slow.


	9. Revelation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The secret is out! How will the Avengers react to Steve's dirty little secret?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not much left on this guy, so I've got to thank everyone who's stopped in. There is definitely going to be more in this verse, so no tears! And as some of you have seen, I've got a couple other projects on the go now, too. Never a dull moment!
> 
> So much love. All y'all rock.

_Oh life can be strange_   
_Good and bad in so many ways_   
_And in time you will find_   
_That things are not always what they seem_

_Well I've got something to say_   
_But you might laugh, joke or run away_   
_Cause I'm awkward and nervous_   
_Sometimes I don't say much at all_

'If The Rain Must Fall' - James Morrison 

 

###

 

In the lab, Tony looks up at the monitor in time to catch this on the screen and sputters over his coffee. He orders JARVIS to rewind the footage and play with sound so he can figure out what's happened. “Holy shit. Bruce!”

Steve silently walks into the lab just as they are getting to the end again. Tony notices too late and tries to turns the screen back to the current time, showing Nat walking into the hospital room, then off.

“Tony. Bruce.” Steve arches an eyebrow at the pair.

Tony knows he's been caught spying so he tries a new tactic. “I thought you were over your little crush.”

Bruce coughs and tries to stay out of it.

“Not exactly.”

“Well, Loki seems to crush back.”

“I did notice. Hard not to with his tongue down my throat.”

Tony actually manages a blush. “Well. Uh.”

“Gonna tell me I can't date him, dad?”

“Dad?”

“You _are_ physically older than me. Seriously, though. If I choose to pursue this, you've got to stay out.”

Bruce clears his throat. 

Tony doesn't take the warning. “Steve, I never stay out of anything.”

“True, but can't you trust me enough to make my own choices?”

“I do.” Bruce puts a hand on Steve's shoulder and shoots Tony a look.

Tony is annoyed. “You do know he's one of the bad guys, right?”

“You used to be, too.” Steve gives Tony a pointed look. “Maybe he just needs someone to give him a chance.”

“Edmund Burke once said that 'the only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.' Maybe this is a chance to do something.” Bruce adjusts his glasses. “Besides, it might make Thor happy.”

“Point Break does mope about his brother a lot.” Tony considers. 

Bruce nods. “Maybe it'll make Steve happy too.” He gives Steve a look, suggesting that he's noticed the recent depressive swing.

Steve looks guilty and rubs his neck. “Well, if it works out. He could even stay in my rooms once you let him out of medical, since he seems... umn..”

“How long have you actually been together?” Bruce's question is quiet but it cuts Steve off mid-thought and has both of the other men in the room gaping at him, though Tony quickly switches his stare to Steve.

“Uh.” Steve blushes heavily and looks at his hands. “Depending how you count it, about 8 months now.”

Tony whistles. “I'm not sure if I'm impressed or disappointed, Capsicle. When were you planning to tell us?”

“When I thought it would be safe to do so. I'm not putting either you or him at risk.” There's an edge of anger in Steve's voice.

“Well, that does explain how my brother got that spell to work.”

Now all three turn their heads to the door where Thor is standing.

“The spell Loki used, for strength.” Thor explains. “It can only be used with someone the sorcerer has a close connection to. Now I understand why it worked.”

“Thor. I-”

“It is alright, friend Steve. I am glad my brother has found companionship. Moreso that it is with someone I trust so greatly.” He walks over and claps Steve's shoulder.

Steve is turning red again as he looks around at his friends. “I'm sorry I didn't say anything, but it wasn't like I could. I don't think Loki's one of the bad guys anymore, but he's not one of us either. He did help a lot with the information on Hydra before he went missing, though. He picked up things with his perspective that I wouldn't even have thought to look for. He was the one who located almost half the bases I told you about. He... he's not a bad person. And I care about him, okay? I don't care who approves or doesn't. You don't have to like him.” Steve’s arms cross over his chest protectively.

“Steve.” Bruce begins, looking at the others in the room. “There has definitely been less trouble from Loki in the months you say you've been together. I think you deserve your chance. I'm not promising anyone will like the guy, but we won't actively go after him unless he does something, okay?”

“That's all I ask.” Steve looks relieved and offers a small smile to the room. “He trusts me, I want him to see that I trust him, too. And that I believe he can be a better person.”

 

### 

 

“Spider.”

“Loki.” Natasha tilts her head as she steps over to the side of the bed. “I take it you've decided to let the others know?”

Loki huffs out a breath of air, shifting to better see the assassin. “I owe Steve at least that much. I know he hates the lie.”

“Thank you.”

“Whatever for, Spider?”

“For taking care of him. We both know he won't do it himself. I'm not exactly one to judge the why's or how's of a relationship but know that as long as you don't hurt Steve, I will allow this to continue. Hell we might even get to be, well I'm not going to lie to you and say friends, so why don't we just say friendly?”

“Your encouragement is astounding. I assure you my intentions toward Steven are no worse than his for me.”

Natasha presses her hand against his cheek and looks him over once again. “You are forcing me to trust you with one of the only people I actually care about. You understand I'm not happy about that.”

“Spider, Ms. Romanov.” Loki speaks softly, his own hand coming up to encircle her wrist. “I know you see me as a heartless creature, but if that it is true then it is because Steve has what little heart I own in his possession. I swear to you I would sooner die than see any harm come to that man. Even if it means leaving him, I will always do what I think is in his best interest.”

The assassin nods her understanding. She parts her lips to say something else but pauses when she hears the elevator. Looking up, she smiles to see Steve enter the room. “How did the grand announcement go?”

“You still have to tell Clint.” He rubs the back of his neck as he looks between his lover and his friend. “You're not threatening his life again, are you? I'm really tired of people doing that lately.”

“She's been good, pet. Come here.” Loki holds out his free hand and the Captain goes to take it, standing on the opposite side of the bed from Natasha. “Does this mean no more play acting?”

“No more. Even better, I have permission to move you to my room, so you'll actually have some amount of privacy.”

Natasha raises an eyebrow. “What about his medical?”

“Your Banner says that all he found was the blood loss and exhaustion. The first has only not healed because of the second, which is my own fault for choosing to use the spell I did.”

“About that.” Steve brings Loki's hand to his lips. “What was that? It's what gave us away to Thor.”

Loki's eyes shut. “Ah. Well, it's an energy transference spell. Generally it only works between people with similar energies – typically this would be family or a lover or a close friend one spends much time with. I used your energy to amplify my own powers but the consequence was pulling past my reserves. So I will need to sleep much in the coming week or so until I am back to my usual self, but there is no permanent harm.

“Good to know.”

“Will you be taking him back to your room right away? I think I might try to talk to Clint, make sure he's okay.” Natasha extracts herself from Loki's grip and moves to the door. “But be sure to call me if you change your mind and want me to kick his alien ass for you.”

Steve laughs. “Tash, go. I've got it. I've got him.” Steve bends over his lover and kisses the cool forehead.

“Please take me to your bed, my Steven. I very much would like to rest and my preference would be to do so in the safety of your arms.”

“Alright, come on.” Steve scoops Loki up from the bed, blankets and all, and carries him bridal-style towards the elevator Natasha had just left in. Once it arrives, he presses the button for his floor.

Loki is deposited into bed and Steve arranges the blankets carefully around him before giving him a gentle kiss. Then he presses his head to Loki's chest, glorying in the reassurance of the heartbeat he can feel against his cheek. Loki's hand slides into his blonde hair and grips on, so Steve wraps his arms around his lover and makes himself comfortable for an extended stay.


	10. Rejuvenation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve helps Loki to feel much, much better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nearing the end, so I'm speeding up posting a tiny bit. Enjoy your smut.

_It sounds so dramatic_  
 _But it's really quite light_  
 _A little of spark from the static_  
 _And my imagination ignites_

_Call it reincarnation_  
 _Call it karmic revenge_  
 _But you are my salvation in the end_

_But I got so lost on life's crooked road_  
 _Say what you want, I am what I am_

'The Valley of Doom' – Danny Michel

 

### 

 

Loki is right, of course. Despite a blessed lack of physical injury outside the depletion of his blood and related dehydration, his recovery is abnormally slow. It takes three days before he's even able to sit up unaided, but he does progress steadily.

Steve stays with Loki as much as he is able. Often he reads to his love, choosing old fairy tales and folk legends. Loki shows a surprising interest in the old tales about giants.

“If I were a giant to remove my heart, I would place it in you. There is no safer place.” Loki takes Steve's hand and kisses it. “My heart.”

Steve smiles and strokes Loki's hair. “Thank you for trusting me with such an honour.”

“Oh, do shut up, Steven. Kiss me. We have been far too chaste.”

“You're healing.”

“I am in need of my Captain.”

“You need rest.”

“I need you. Please.” Loki clings to the Captain, suddenly very vulnerable. “All I had was the hope you might find me. My heart, I was so afraid.”

“My love, hush.” Steve pulls Loki close and tucks the dark head under his chin. “Even when they told me you were dead, I couldn't bare to leave you there. Getting you back was all that kept me together.”

Salt tears escape Loki and he slowly soaks Steve's tee, but neither cares. They are together.

Steve kisses Loki's brow. “I love you.”

“I know.”

 

### 

 

They wake up in the same position, Steve's shirt still a little damp, and Loki offers an uncertain smile.

“Feeling better?”

Loki nods. “You're still here. It wasn't a dream.”

“I know what you mean.” Steve smiles warmly. “I've been pinching myself for months.”

Loki actually manages a slight blush. “Steve, I mean it.”

“So do I.”

A warm hand is pressed against Loki's cheek and he sighs. “My heart.”

“My love.” They kiss. It's slow and reassuring at first but their passion sparks and it becomes hungry, needy, lustful.

“Steve. Please?”

The Captain studies his lover carefully, hands on the pale cheeks. “You're sure you can handle it?”

“I need it. I need _you_.”

Steve smiles and kisses Loki again. “How can I deny you?” Several more hungry kisses follow while Steve rocks his pelvis against Loki's thigh.

They slowly undress, lips greeting every bit of revealed flesh. Steve is more eager than he's willing to admit. He had badly missed the creamy flesh beneath him, missed the soft lips, and the long delicate fingers. His naked godling is truly divine beneath him and his breath catches.

“Ah, Loki.”

“Mmn.” Loki sucks Steve's lower lip into his mouth. “Worship me with your body, not your eyes.”

Steve blushes to have been caught staring but he can't help himself. A week ago, he'd thought Loki dead. “Sorry. Do we have any lubricant?”

Loki takes Steve's hand and sucks on the first two fingers. Steve feels it like Loki were sucking his cock. Loki's tongue circles the digits and he moans.

When his fingers are quite wet, Steve removes them from Loki's mouth and presses them slowly along his cleft into the tight hole. Loki arches at the touch and gasps loudly.

Steve is careful, stroking and stretching his lover thoroughly, continuing the process even when three fingers can move with no difficulty. 

It's Loki's soft whine that reminds Steve he needs to continue. He shifts up, moving so his cock is above Loki's mouth. Loki opens up immediately and takes Steve into his mouth, using his lips and tongue to make sure the entire length is well wet. Steve could easily just stay there, enjoy Loki's talented tongue, but he wants this to be about his lover so he gently pulls away and moves back down his body.

Gently, he slides his hard length into Loki.

Loki moans, his fingers digging into Steve's shoulders. “Thank you, thank you.”

“I love you.” Steve's mouth is against Loki's throat, sucking at the pale skin, pressed against the adam's apple. Tasting and claiming every bit.

They move together, Steve keeping the movements gentle but sure. Loki arches against him, wanting every possible inch of skin to be touching. “Please, Steve.”

Steve obeys, thrusting deep as he can and breathing open-mouthed against Loki's neck. Loki's fingers press deeper into his back, harder. But it's getting too hard, and Steve gasps, feeling blood. “Loki?”

Loki cries out, tears on his face. “Steve, help me. Help me.” Steve stops his movement, though Loki holds him inside with his thighs. “Don't leave. Steve, stay. I need you.”

“Loki? What? I'm here. Talk to me.” He presses a kiss to the trembling lips.

“It reminded me of the void, if not for the walls.” Loki;s voice is barely audible. He shivers and clutches even tighter to Steve.

Steve quickly realizes Loki means the prison, not the sex, and holds his lover gently. “What, if I may, was the void like?” 

“Nothing.”

“You won't tell me?”

“I am telling you. It was nothing. No sound, no vision, no smell, no touch. Nothing.”

“Like sensory deprivation?” Steve had read about some of the experiments that had been performed after his war and the results had terrified him. “How did you stay sane?”

“Who says I did?” A wry grin crosses Loki's face. “By the time Thanos found me, there was so little left that it was surely simple for him to convince me to follow his orders. It wasn't until I arrived on Midgard that I even began to be more myself. Even then... I did not expect to win, Steven. My plan was to die. But you pathetic mortals could not do it, not even your green monster. And Thor would not. I was forced to endure, to live with myself.”

“Well, this pathetic mortal is glad.” Steve runs his hand over Loki's stomach, his hips starting to rock again. “If you hadn't survived, I'm not sure I would have either.”

“Steve.” Loki's arms are around his lover's neck. “My Steve, my heart.”

“Loki. I say to you as you once did to me; you are my privilege. I alone get to touch you, hurt you, love you, fuck you, or kill you. You are mine.”

Loki looks up at Steve, tears in his eyes. “I love you.”

“I know.”

This earns him a tender kiss, long and slow. And they finally resume their love making, Loki's legs tighten around Steve's thighs as the thrusts begin again, deep and slow.

Loki is abnormally vocal, whimpering and whispering nonsensically as Steve continually drags kisses along his long neck. His hands slide down, fingers digging into Steve's ass to pull him deeper. “Please, Steve. I wish to forget all, unh, all that is not you.”

Steve shifts, trying to find Loki's prostrate again and the moan he gets on the third thrust strongly suggests he has. He focuses on that spot, on getting every possible noise out of his usually quiet lover. 

Heart full and eyes shut, Loki lets go, puts all his trust and love into Steve and just lets himself feel. The hands stroking his face and neck do almost as much for him as the hard cock pressing his most sensitive areas. He cries out and pulls Steve tight against his chest as his body trembles with release. His soldier follows him quickly, warm seed spilling deep within him.

They stay connected, neither wanting to be the first to let go. Even as their arousal fades into heaving chests and tender caresses, Loki refuses to loosen his legs from around Steve's waist.

“Give me a few moments, and then we can go again.”

“Yeah, sure.” Steve chuckles. “I can do this all day.”

Loki's fingers trail over Steve's face, bits of green magic sparking at his finger tips to tease the soft skin. “Careful what you wish for, my heart.”

“Love, I have you.” Steve smiles, his eyes warm, and strokes his hand up Loki's throat before kissing him. “What else could I ever need?”

When Loki's smile comes, it's not quite as full or warm. He knows the missing pieces, he suspects the sacrifices yet to be made. He knows there are still questions coming. But having Steven, he knows he won't be afraid. Together, they can defeat anything. Loki pities those who would dare come between them.


	11. Exodus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The end of this story but the beginning of others. Time for a happy homecoming.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm mean. I'll let you imagine the homecoming celebration. ;)
> 
> [whiterosesneverred](http://archiveofourown.org/users/whiterosesneverred/pseuds/whiterosesneverred) suggested our new friend who appears at the end about, oh, chapter 1. Promise he'll show up again in _Hazards of Love_ which is the next instalment of this series. (Going back to the snap shots again before picking up one more lengthy plot-based fic and the likely end of this 'verse.)
> 
> Thanks again for coming along for the ride. I hope I haven't been too overly disappointing for anyone. Long fic is still not my strength, but I'm learning!

_It's the Heart's filthy lesson_  
 _With her hundred miles to hell_

_Oh, Ramona - if there was only something between us_  
 _If there was only something between us_  
 _Other than our clothes_  
 _Something in our skies_  
 _Something in our skies_  
 _Something in our blood_  
 _Something in our skies_  
'The Heart's Filthy Lesson' – David Bowie

### 

 

“Can I see?” Steve takes the work stool next to Bruce to look over the lab results.

“Of course.” Bruce starts pointing out what he's found. “See, here, this is what they picked up. This chemical in the Jotun blood can be used in a manner similar to your serum to enhance a human being. However, it doesn't stay in the human system so it would need to be injected repeatedly to maintain the enhancements.”

“Thus why they were draining your Lovebug but keeping him alive.” Tony pops a dried blueberry into his mouth, offering the package to Bruce and Steve. Bruce takes one. 

Steve declines. “Did we ever figure out what was said between the Hydra divisions?”

“Nope.” Another blueberry tossed and caught.

“So Loki could still be in danger.” 

“Yup. Greased Lightning, too. There's no information to indicate Hydra being aware of that whole weird adopted brother situation.” 

Steve looks up at Tony, feeling his stress level go up about ten points. “Plus Bucky's still out there and at least one division wants him back, too.”

“True. We actually need to find Winter Kisses now.”

“What?!”

“Nevermind. How _is_ Lovebug anyway?”

“He's good.” Not that Steve trusts Tony's motives for asking. “Should be strong enough to head home by the end of the week.”

Tony shoots Steve a look. “Home? Why can't you stay here? Why can't this be home? He'll feel safer. _I'll_ feel safer. You have your whole floor! We can even lock it so no one can walk in on your special time and everything.”

“Look, Tony, we appreciate everything. I appreciate it. Really.” Steve takes a breath. “But this is your home, not mine. I'm sorry. We're only a couple hours away and you know I'll be back all the time to talk Avengers stuff. Besides, I don't think Loki is really comfortable here. I imagine there's a few bad memories.”

Tony's mouth opens and then closes again. “I guess you're right. But think about it. You belong here, with the Avengers. Your family.” 

Steve sighs, and Bruce puts a hand on his shoulder. “Tony's right, Steve. We're a great big dysfunctional family and you're an important part of that.”

 

### 

 

“Learn anything, my heart?” Steve is sitting at his desk going over the data they had collected from the Cambodian Hydra base. Loki approaches slowly from behind and wraps arms around his broad shoulders while gently kissing his earlobe. “Is there a reason for me to destroy them, or may I simply do it for fun.”

“They were able to derive a super soldier serum from your blood, that's why they were keeping you. Apparently, they managed to get you in the first place using elephant tranquilizers. Twice the dose typically used on a male bull elephant.” Steve raises an eyebrow. “Some of the data they have on you is pretty impressive. I'm worried about how much actually got passed on to other Hydra factions.”

“No matter, their blood is forfeit to me. I will destroy them all.”

“Loki, love, you have to work with us on this. I promise we'll keep you safe but we really do need to pool our resources.” Steve puts his hands over Loki's.

“No.” Loki trails his tongue along the back of Steve's ear. “I will handle it. You focus on your friend.”

Steve takes a deep breath, trying not to let Loki's touches arouse or distract him. “I'm never going to win this argument, am I?”

Loki laughs and squeezes Steve's hands. “I”m afraid not, love. Take your Spider. You seem to want to share everything with her, anyway.”

Detecting a trace of bitterness, Steve tilts his head back to try and look at Loki. “Love, have you still not forgiven me for that? She would've found out anyway.”

“It is jealousy, forgive me.” Loki kisses Steve's forehead. 

“There are some people in life you can trust your life with, and some people you can trust your soul with. Natasha is someone that I trust with both.” Steve tugs on Loki's arms, leads him around to sit on his lap. “Just as I trust you with both.”

Loki nods and rests his head against Steve's shoulder. “I trust only you, Steve. No one else.”

“I know.” Steve's arms wrap around his godling and hold him close. 

 

### 

 

“You're sure you're strong enough? There's enough room on the bike for both of us.”

“Yes, Steve, I'm sure. I'm sure I'm sure.” Loki laughs and wraps Steve in a hug giving him a quick kiss. “I will see you in a few hours. Do not worry so.”

Steve nods before pulling away to make certain his duffel bag is well secured. He picks Captain Abearica off the top and hands it over to Loki. “You make sure he gets home safe, too, okay?”

Loki takes the toy, smiling over the silly thing that has become so important to them. It gives him an idea. “I promise, my heart. Now you get going. Drive safely.”

The motorcycle heaves under Steve's heavy frame and he starts it with a healthy roar. As the motor purrs away, Loki leans in for one last kiss to remind Steve just how much he's loved. They pull apart and Steve gets the bike going with a grin. Once Steve is out of sight, Loki vanishes, teleporting to his destination.

 

### 

 

The ride is long and dusty, but Steve enjoys it. He especially enjoys know that his boyfriend is waiting for him once he gets home. With the sun setting to the west, and the love of a prince, Steve muses that it could very well be a fairy tale ending. Or perhaps he'd just been telling a few too many of those stories to Loki in the last days.

Steve arrives at the parking garage for their building and secures his bike before climbing the stairs to their apartment. As he enters, the first thing Steve notices is Captain Abearica sitting on the chair. The next thing he notices is that the teddy bear is no longer alone, just as Steve is no longer alone. Someone had gotten it a companion, a Loki Bear in perfect replica of Loki's formal Asgardian-wear. Steve can't help but laugh and he looks for his lover. “Loki? Where are you hiding, love?”

“I'm not hiding.” Loki comes out of the bathroom wearing nothing but a mischievous grin, obviously having gotten out of a bath. “I'm waiting for you.”

Steve looks Loki over appreciatively. “I think you've done more than enough of that. I'm all yours.”

Loki's grin widens as he holds out his hands for his love to join him. “I know.”


End file.
